Thursday, November 2, 2017

My Greatest Weakness

I was a store manager at my last job.

I'm very familiar with the hiring/firing process, and I understand that interview questions are -obviously- rather important.  These are the questions that help an interviewer determine who is truly fit for a position.  These are the questions that plot a course for the future of the company.  These are the questions that bleed life into the heart and soul of an industry!

I digress.

I once went through the painstaking process of choosing proper questions to ask each candidate. I researched good questions, picked out the ones that seemed relevant, decided what 'answers' I was looking for...

 Yeah.  I am.

Still, there was always that one question that I avoided adding into the interview mix.  That one question that we ALL unanimously hate.  That one questions that makes your insides twist and your nose twitch.  You know the one.  You know.

What's your greatest weakness?

Ugh.  It's an awful question.  There's no 'right' answer - and you spend way too much time either;

a.) Over-analyzing yourself. "I've always been bad at math.  I'm really terrible with commitment.  Also, that one thing about hating everyone I've ever met... is that relevant?"
b.) Coming up with some bogus answer that you can flip into a 'positive' "I'm just too hard of a worker. I work so hard.  The hardest.  Hard."  
c.) Or, if you're like me, pulling out all of your humorous stops. "What are we talkin'?  Bench or squat?"   

Regardless of my opinion, however, it's a popular interview question.  Perhaps, arguably, one of the most popular.  I get it.  I understand why.  It shows insight about a person's character, and how perceptive they are, and gauges their ability to be authentic...

Sure, sure.


Where am I going with this and why is it relevant?  Oh-ho!

I just spent two weeks going through the interview process for a new job, and it was every bit as long, and tedious, and stressful as I had remembered.  I had to gather up all of my experiences for the "tell me about a time..." questions.  I had to remember relevant details of past jobs to substantiate my qualifications.  I had to determine which qualities were my best qualities, which skills were my most useful skills, and -yes- which weakness was my greatest weakness.    

I knew that this questions was coming, and I really wanted to crack a joke; but I also really wanted this job.  This was my DREAM job!  So, instead, in my mind I came up with a brilliant answer.  An answer that was honest, but not too telling of my insecurities.  An answer that would please the 'crowd', but wouldn't get me into too much trouble.  An answer that shared just enough, but wouldn't disqualify me from candidacy.

"I'm a people pleaser, which sounds great but really isn't!  You can't always please everyone! hyuk, hyuk, hyuk..."

 "... hyuk, hyuk, hyuk..."

Yeah.

That's what I was going for.

Safe.  Honest.  Relate-able.

So, when the interviewer asked me the dreaded question in the form of; "if I were to call your last employer, what do you think that they would say was your greatest weakness?"

I was ready.  I had the plan.  It was foolproof.  I was set.

 
Except, apparently, my mouth was not privy to the plan.  

So, instead, I very quickly proclaimed; "... self confidence.  I am always the first person to doubt myself in any situation."


Honesty may be the best policy... but ouch.  I couldn't even convincingly lie to myself!?

Ah, but there it is.  Self confidence is my greatest weakness.  Ask anyone who truly knows me, and I'm sure that this is what they would say.  (Cue a shit-storm of text-messages and phone calls from my friends and family saying "no, actually, what you REALLY suck at is...")

Again, where am I going with this and why is it relevant?  Well, I do love a good full-circle blog post...

My passion is writing.  It has been my passion since I was a wee-little-pumpkin (what up, Fall season reference!?).  I have been writing stories, and blogs, and short novels for many, many years now.  That said, I have always concealed my work.  If somebody walks by my computer while I'm writing, I will quickly change the tab or close the screen.  If someone asks to see my work, I will come up with an excuse to keep it hidden.  If someone asks me about what I am writing about, I'll mumble some incoherent explanation of what it is... sort of

Why?  Because I'm not confident in myself, or my writing.  After all, who would want to read anything that I write -whether it's short stories, or pointless blogs, or down-right nonsense- except for, maybe, my grandma?  (Hello, Oma.)

Maybe no one.

Or, maybe, that's just my greatest weakness showing.


And thus, here I am.  Once again attempting to blog.  

I'm just a girl, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love her. 

 Probably me.  Super confident.

Oh, yeah, also... for anyone who may be wondering; I was offered that job.  My first day is tomorrow.  💜